Welcome to Bizarro Paradise, Martyrs

So what happens in Islamic Martyr Paradise when a husband and wife terrorist team arrives? 

[ I started this a year or so ago, after the San Bernardino massacre.  Just found it and finished it today. I really should look into getting some ADD meds.  This is really missing the deadline for a timely piece... ] 

Mohammed, the Prophet, blessed be He, welcomes the newest martyrs to Heaven: Mr. and Mrs Malik, Rizwan & his beautiful bride Tashfeen. They being the new Islamic patron saints of San Bernardino.

Prophet:  Hiya, Rizwan, Tashfeen.  So glad to finally meet you.  Been hoping to see you here for a while now.  Welcome to Heaven, both of you.   

Rizwan: Thank you.

Tashfeen:  Oh, what an honor!

Prophet: Hope the trip wasn't too arduous.  It's a long way from San Bernardino to paradise.

Rizwan: You aren't kidding.  

Tashfeen: Those bullets from the police sting like something else.

Prophet:  Yeah.  That's what all the infidels were saying about YOUR bullets to Jesus at the Christian Induction Center... 

All:  HAHAHAHAHA. 

Prophet:  Great job shooting up your workplace Mohammed.  You are so awesome.  You and Tashfeen are everything I could ever hope for in terrorists.

Tashfeen:  Terrorists?  Not Martyrs?

Prophet: Oh, yeah, Martyrs, that's the ticket.  Martyrs.... I alwasy forget, you are Martyrs.... Sorry we watch too much Fox News up here.

Tashfeen: No problem... 

Rizwan: Awww, Many thanks for your praise.  It's all because of my lovely Tashfeen.  I couldn't have done anything without her.

Tashfeen:  That's right (giggles).  Rizzi never had a thought about martyrdom until I came along.

Prophet: Behind every successful terrorist is a supportive wife... that's what I always say.  Don't think we don't appreciate women up here in Islamic heaven.  

Rizwan:  Shariabrides.com is definitely the bomb, not to mention the greatest terrorist recruiting tool ever.  

Prophet: Yeah.  It's almost as effective as everything and anything Donal Trump, blessed be he, ever has to say about Islam.  

All:  HAHAHAHAHAHA 

Prophet:  We love ShariaBrides.com up here too.  Tashfeen, if Rizwan hadn't hit you up first, I was gonna swoop after reading your irresistable profile (wink, wink).

Rizwan: Yeah,, I'm so lucky.  Her profile sure hooked me. Tashfeen is such a looker, even behind all those sheets. 

Prophet:  So true, so true.  I'd cite some Koran verse about feminine beauty, if only I had it all memorized like my followers.  Lucky for me I only had to write it.  It's for others to memorize.  I have such a bad memory.

Tashfeen: As it says in Qur'an 24:31: "They should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons...."  etc, etc...

Prophet:  Er, yeah....

All:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Prophet:  Well, my martyred friends, it's time for your great reward.

(Rizwan and Tashfeen look at each other, smiling, in anticipation)

Prophet:  Rizwan, as I always promised, right behind that cloud are your 72 virgins.  

Rizwan:  Ummm... (looks at Tashfeen nervously)

Tashfeen:  Go ahead, honey, you've earned them all.

Rizwan: Oh baby, you're the best!

Prophet:  And Tashfeen, don't think I've forgotten you.  Behind that other cloud are YOUR 72 virgins. Except they all know what to do, again and again and again...

Tashfeen: (blushes)

Rizwan:  I'm so happy for you. too. Have no thought of me at all!

Prophet:  And don't worry about stoning.  This is Heaven.  

[ Rizwan and Tashfeen face each other, grasp each other's hands, and stare blissfully into each other's love-smitten eyes ]

Prophet:  Ok you knuckle-heads, off you go.  Have a ball. I'll see you when you come up for air in a couple of years...  which is a long time in Heaven  

And so it is that Rizwan and Tashfeen, just two of the many great heros and martyrs of Islam, not to mention one of the happiest couples in the universe, go to get their just deserts.

They go behind their clouds.

Soon there is the sound of huffing and panting.  

Unfortunately behind Rizwan's cloud are 72 huge and well hung goats.  All horny.  All really horny!

Rizwan doesn't stand a chance.  Over and over again they go at it.  The goats, that is.  Poor Rizwan.

And alas, behind Tashfeen's cloud there aren't any goats.  Just 72 MILLION hamsters, all martyred in a secular manner in San Francisco.  And another alas, they aren't virgins at all.  Still, they try very hard, but their little thingees are just so small, so tiny, almost Japanese.  So, so, very small.  Tashfeen would be in hell if not for their nibbling toothless mouths. And the hamsters are in Heaven too.  No more smelly back door for them.  

Well maybe this doesn't sound like Heaven.  All the same, At least there weren't any pigs behind either of the clouds.  There are some places even the stupidest scribbler shouldn't go.  Pigs in Islamic Heaven?... 

Now that would just be wrong!     

Issuing the promised 72 virgins seems likely to lead to marital problems.  Unless of course the two are already rather corrupted by earthly values.  "Yes, wife, you go ahead with your 72 virgins first.  I like to watch."

Mohammad Converts to Christianity

 Well here is a little piece I actually shopped around with absolutely no success even though radical (Islamic) terrorism keeps happening, month after month, week after week, on and on.  In recent weeks we have had the Beirut attacks, the Paris massacre, and the latest Mom&Pop slaughter in San Bernadino has been revealed as more of the same.  I don't blame Islam for these events perpetrated by kooks.  But as the toll of these events continues to accumulate, if there is a God or an Allah isn't it about time for HIM to speak up?  



(Heaven)  Heaven and the afterlife are reeling tonight after the surprise announcement that the Prophet Mohammad, founder of the faith of Islam, is changing religions.

The announcement follows after a week of terrorist attacks in Mali, Paris and Beirut.  These latest atrocities compound the offense of the past year’s violence stretching back to the attack on the offices of Charlie Hebdo, the French satire magazine that published cartoons offensive to Islam, along with all other faiths. 

Mohammad announced that he is abandoning his faith of 1400 years to become a Christian, shocking his 2.1 billion followers and leaving them without their leader for the second time in the religion's history.

"That’s it, I've had enough" said the Prophet, expressing his disgust at the murderous rampages by extremists of his former faith.  "There is no way I can continue to be associated with so many bloodthirsty kooks pretending to act in the name of Allah, blessed be He, or myself."

This is the second time Mohammad has departed from his Islamic followers.  The last time occurred upon his death.  In the wake of that brief separation the Islamic world was thrown into chaos and civil war, leading to the creation of Sunni, Shia and other sects within the religion that have persecuted each other as well as non-Islamic religions to the present day. 

The impact of this second departure could be more violent and profound however.  Rumor has it that the other central member of Islam, Allah, has also been contemplating a break.  Sources say that escalating terror attacks by Al Qaeda, ISIL, Boko Haram and countless others have tested his patience to the limit.  Only his sympathy for Palestinians, say analysts, has prevented his defection from Islam.  But the latest outrages may force His hand. 

If Allah as well as Mohammad exit Islam, not only will Islam be left without their prophet, but they will be Godless as well. The religion will then find itself in the predicament of other atheistic expressions of human fanaticism and hubris, chief among them communism and fascism.  In that case violence by Islamist radicals will almost certainly spiral out of control to levels not seen since the cataclysms perpetrated by those 20th century ideologies. 

But defense establishments around the world are concerned with a more immediate threat, a potential outburst of wrath from among the Gods.

Rumors circulating through intelligence circles indicate that all Heaven is aroused and angry.  The Hindu God Shiva, destroyer of worlds, is said to have departed for the Ort belt with Vishnu.  The last time the pair visited the desolate and asteroid filled outer reaches of our solar system, the comet that brought an end to the reign of the dinosaurs was hurled back at earth.  The pair’s anger this time, say analysts, is much, much worse. 

Meanwhile Allah is said to be contemplating brutal punishment, not only against the terrorists, but the entire planet.  According to chatter detected by the NSA, there will be cataclysms.  Dabiq is rumored to be doomed, but not in the way ISIS imagines.  Allah is also threatening to poke the eye of Islamist fanatics with the gravest insult He can imagine – leaving Islam for Judaism.  Questioned on how he could join a religion whose followers have oppressed his Palestinians favorites for generations, Allah conceded that he is torn.  “While I remain in total sympathy with the righteous Palestinian struggle for statehood and justice, only the angry and wrathful God of Old Testament Judaic judgment seems equal to the outrages of both Islamic terror and escalating human blood-letting.”  Internet rumors also point out Allah’s exasperated wish to just stick it to the hated terrorists.   

The Buddha and several past incarnations of the Dali Lama are said to be counseling calm and patience.  But armed forces across the globe are on high alert in anticipation of a possible Armageddon, and riots in Pakistan. 

Meanwhile the world responds to the latest round of violence. In Mali, French Special Forces have arrived to assist Malian troops.  America has provided comfort to France in the form of words, sending US Secretary of State John Kerry to speak French for the second time in a year, in solidarity with the French people.  The French as always sneer at the Americans, in their customary French manner, but are said to be privately comforted.  The horrific attacks in Beirut have been allotted not one but several paragraphs in several western newspapers, far from the front page. 

Meanwhile the Pope, another frequent target of both French and Islamist vitriol, expressed compassion for the victims of all the recent massacres.  “We pray for all who are harmed by religious extremism, and we also pray for a change of heart among the perpetrators of such acts.” 


The prophet Mohammad was said to have been moved by the newest Pope’s remarks, some suggesting that the tone of forgiveness may even have contributed to the Prophet’s conversion to Christianity. 

"Mohammad is in disagreement with a great many beliefs of the Christians,” said an unnamed Imam.  “But the idea of kindness and understanding expressed by Pope Francis offers a way out from the contentious and vicious dialogue between backward looking Islamists and modernity” 

The Prophet’s affinity for the latest leader of Christendom hasn’t been hurt by their shared love of soccer.  Muhammad is said to be mad for the Iran National team, while the Pope is a staunch supporter of soccer powerhouse Argentina.  Sharing non-alcoholic beverages with Pope Francis and Pope Emeritus Benedict during the next World Cup will surely offer the Prophet a welcome respite from the unending dire news.

Goodbye Peace

Goodbye, Peace... Welcome Back, Same Old Shit

It's really hard to be against the new war (wait, it's not a war... the proverbial "they" said it's not a war, and "they" would know, so it can't be a war...) or whatever it is that we have sort of declared against ISIS.  The President has spoken.  The congress has remained silent, which is their way of assenting when the President's actions align with Republican wishes, at least until this hated president commits a missteps and gives the House leadership space to resume their usual attacks on "that foreign born Kenyan socialist."  And where is the permission from the UN?  Don't need that... A president gets to do what a president gets to do.

So in other words, we are at the same old war (not war) using the Bush strategy.  We have our make believe coalition of countries, most of whom aren't REALLY in the coalition..  We are waging "not war" through the bombing of targets with our jets and drones.  No boots on ground -- more "proof" that it's not war.  Never mind that civilian casualties have been reported in the most recent Syrian strikes.  Will this help us win more hearts and minds, just like that strategy did in the Bush Iraq war?  No..  Same shit, different President. 

Yet, it's hard to be against this new war (not war) since the new enemy is so deserving of extermination.  There hasn't been a group more deserving of total annihilation than ISIS since the Khmer Rouge.  This includes Al Qaeda, and honestly, I'd even say that's the case with this new-fangled "Khoresan" outfit.

But are there other alternatives to this war?  A more legitimate war could be had.  Blue caps under UN command would get my support a lot more than this resumption of the Bush adventure.  Nobody has waged the political war against ISIS in the UN.  Why not?  Do we think Russia would stand in the way of bombing this group that's even more extreme than the Chechyns they've fought for a generation?  Would China, considering they have suffered their own Islamic terror attacks in the last year?. It may well be that both would stand in the way on the grounds that allowing the US to become entangled alone in the mid-east without legitimacy weakens us and thus strengthens them.  On the other hand, has Kerry spoken to Moscow or Beijing on this subject?  If you don't try you certainly can't succeed.  There is potential for common ground among us here, regardless of the evil stuff  Russia is up to in Ukraine, and some of the dubious squabbling between China and it's neighbors in the waters between China, the Philippines and Japan..  

At risk of citing a source that not all the world agrees with (yet... to cite Stephen Colbert), the Bible's Book of Revelations seems to suggest a strategy for facing ISIS  The army of the North (Russia), the army of the East (China), the army of the West (Us) and the army of the south -- such as the Iraqi army is, maybe with Iranian help -- converge on northern Iraq and the ISIL occupied areas of Syria.  NATO, Russia, China Africa, the Islamic countries, India, all the rest don their blue helmets and sweep in.  Stomping out ISIL in this manner would sit a lot better than W, War III.  And moving the target of the end of days to northern Iraq rather than Israel might buy us another few decades, if God is feeling generous despite the continued sins of our species.  

Of course things could get touchy in Syria given that the West claims to want Assad out and Russia doesn't.  But just having forces there might allow us to find a political solution.  You could even imagine a scenario in which the younger Assad retains his presidency, but is brought back towards the values of the west with which he was so familiar when he practiced medicine in the UK.  Some people think Assad has been villianized by circumstances.  I'm not sure that that's not true.  A compromise might be to retain Assad in power (thus satisfying the Russians and Assad's supporters in Syria) but allow a free parliament to be constituted under conditions where minority rights are respected and protected (thus satisfying the desires of the West and the secular elements of the Arab Spring).  This could set a great example for the rest of the area.  Are you listening, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and most especially, you scumbags currently running Egypt?  

Israel's ruling conservatives might not be so happy at solving these problems.  If the Islamic countries and factions are fighting among themselves, they are not concerning themselves with a generation's worth of Israeli land grabs in the west bank.  This injustice is something that must be resolved if there is ever to be real peace between Israel and the Occupied Territories.     

Can any of this wishful dream be achieved?  It can't if it's not tried. 

If we can't "all get along"; if we have to have a war, can we at least have one that is legally defensible, one that advances world order, one that promotes the spread of the UN enshrined conception of rights written by Eleanor Roosevelt herself?  

As the energy lobbyists like to say... "think about it."

.  

Our support of the Egyptian Coup is so Effed.

Can the News from Egypt get any more full of BS?  Who likes the Moslem Brotherhood... nobody.  But damn if they wouldn't be a far sight better than that undemocratic group of generals running the place now.  Why?  Because at least the Moslem Brotherhood was elected.

Instead, Fuckin Mubarak is back in spirit and with a bullet, not to mention with bans on gatherings of 10 or more persons except - presumably - at world Cup Qualifiers (and Egypt is out of WC, so forget those).  And while Generals worthy of the legacy of the Argentine Junta or Somoza crush Egyptian democrats in the name of crushing elected Islamics, once again America is betraying democracy and siding with the generals...  as if Reagan or Nixon or even Truman were in the white house.

WTF Obama... Can't you at least TRY and live up to that Nobel that the Scandanavians, so full of foolish and misplaced hope, gave you? 

Everybody hates the Moslem Brotherhood.  But as Morsi himself said, there are constitutional mechanisms for removing an elected president from power.  Egypt and democracy are better off when laws rather than power are used.

In the meantime, here is what America's policy ought to be:  The enemy of any democracy should be our enemy.   That goes for generals in Egypt, China, or civilian tyrants anywhere in the world.  We can't have a hot war or even a cold war with everybody that disagrees with us, but we should buddy up to antidemocratic leaders only to the extent that we think we can move them towards supporting democracy.

Jeez, if that sounds a little like simplistic W-think, so be it.  There is a time and place, once in a while, even for ideological certainty.  We believe in democracy.  We know it is the one right form of government. We should support it, no matter what, no matter where.

Syria: Go Big or Don't Go

America is backing away from war in Syria.  Considering the massive amount of casualties on the side that used to be "the Arab Spring" it's hard to say this is a good thing.  Our US government as well as media from MS-NBC to FOX all seem to be relieved that America has avoided a war... except whether we are involved or not, there is plenty of war going on there, and there has been for a long time.

At risk of my liberal and centrist credentials, such as they are, I'm having a hard time not siding with McCain on this one.  If we had imposed a "no fly" and "no tank" zone a year ago, this "war" would have been over long ago. 

Prior to that, had we somehow established influence and a cooperative relationship with Assad (who before his gig as "dictator" and "hereditary enemy of the west" was a mild mannered doctor working in the UK) Syria could have avoided the Arab Spring by already liberalizing before the Twitter revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt.  His ascent to tyrant was probably just a matter of being in the wrong family at the wrong time, or maybe the problem was that the US State Dept was asleep (which happens when you are in bed with Israel too long).  If only we had befriended a natural friend long ago and brought Syria towards a more western orientation.  But we missed our chance.  Blame APAC for that, I guess. 

Currently the balance of military power obviously favors Assad's troops.  If we want to get him negotiating with his enemies we need to even that balance.  The most obvious way to do this would be by involving ourselves there in a way similar to our involvement in Libya; through use of US air power to take out the government's heavy weapons and air power.  The risks to American troops are obvious, but they are no more obvious than the risks to our air forces in Bosnia a few decades ago.  The rationale for intervention is exactly the same.

Another solution:  We used to be a can-do nation, but in the last decades America has taken to outsourcing the hard work.  Why not concede our utter laziness in military matters as well?  What if we outsourced the necessary air campaign to defected Syrian or other Arab pilots?  Syrians who know how to fly Russian fighters should be able to gain a quick competency in flying ours.  God knows we've also got plenty of our planes in the region already, under control of our dubious allies in the Arab world.  We also have plenty of trained pilots of our aircraft in Saudi Arabia and Egypt, if Syrian defectors can't fill out the necessary numbers.  Putting F-16s in the hands of Assad's enemy empowers them a lot more than sending them crates of anti-tank and anti-aircraft missiles for terrorists later get their hands on later.  The benefit in this outsourcing is that it "Vietnamizes" the war, before the first American boot goes on or over the ground over there. Also, Arab forces would be, by definition, much less objectionable to Arabs than American Infidel invaders.      

In an odd way that he doesn't mean, Putin is right in saying that nations do not have the right to interfere in the internal affairs of other nations.  In fact, when states are engaging in mass murder against their own citizens, other nations don't have a right to interfere, they have an obligation.  The Security Council is supposed to be the mechanism for such interventions, but it is broken.  That's where McCain and a reluctant Obama come in.

One thing that bugs me about Obama's current conception of intervention is it's limited scope.  Obama wants to intervene in a small way to teach a small lesson about "norms." He doesn't want to change the game.  In this McCain is on the money.  Wasting arms and killing enlisted men, even if they are draftees to your enemy's military, shouldn't be to reassert norms to no effect. If you are going to go to war, small war purpetuated over a long time isn't the way to go, unless you are an arms manufacturer or other war profiteer.  But Obama is not Cheney.  So let's go big or don't go.  Where is the "the Powell Doctrine" when you need it? 

In the absence of successful peace talks ending the Syrian civil war, the only real alternative for Syrian peace seems to be a Pax Americana.  Ok, so lets pretend we aren't American exceptionalists.  But when the kids are bawling and battling, the old man eventually sets down his beer and threatens to knock both boys heads together so he can hear his TV.  If the Security Council can't Dad-up, somebody needs to.  Putin, we are willing to let you do this.  But if not, let's let Obama do the right thing, or let the Arab nations put this war to bed.

Knocking heads together unless the combatants stop fighting is much better than the alternative:  Dad saying, "fight it out, and the winner fights me!"

It Was a "Coup"

It finally happened.  After weeks of threats announced on the radio and TV, threats which thankfully had not been backed up  with action, the Egyptian military has   moved in with the force of arms and the fictitious legal cover to sweep the Muslim Brotherhood off the streets.

So what if the Muslim Brotherhood is not exactly the most democratic bunch themselves.  Now the Egyptian army has given them a legitimacy they could hardly have gotten on their own.  No matter how much they mismanaged power under the Morsi regime, their street cred just shot through the roof now that they have their own Tienanmen Square massacre.

Its time to call a spade a spade and name what happened in Egypt by what it is -- it was a coup.  The events happening now show that in standing by while Morsi was overthrown, Obama has done what America does best and backed the wrong side.  But it isn't too late for America to do the right thing.  And that right thing is what McCain said - call this coup a coup and trip the legislated penalties when the military usurps the power of the people.  It's time to cut off military aid to Egypt.

The Arab Spring is over, at least in Egypt.  The military has stepped in to save the Mubarak regime - rule of the military - even if Mubarak in no longer at its head.  Egypt is back to the same old same old... generals ruling and all who oppose the general's interests (be those interests political or financial) are shot dead or on their way to jail.

In the wake of this latest affront to the popular will by the bullet, it's hard not to reach the following conclusion:  When it comes to Democracy, the most pernicious threat to it is not voter fraud, not terrorism by Islamists, maybe not even the corrupting influence of money.  When it gets down to crunch time, when the advantaged few are at risk of losing their grip on power, the biggest weapon they have against the people is the military.  This applies whether the military serves oligarchs in the former Soviet Union, or enforces the rule of the taliban elite.  We should keep this in mind as America has some challenges and choices where the interests of the many will be greatly at odds with the interests of the powerful few.

What is happening in Egypt is just confirmation of how history has operated pretty much forever.  It should be noted well that rulers in countries with a strong military resort to it when their hegemony is under existential threat.  Chile, Indonesia, and now Egypt are the examples of the authoritarian's use of the military to maintain their unfair position at the top of the heap.  It goes without saying that Soviet hegemony was enforced by their military, as is - to this day - the power or China's elite.  Countries that lack a military - though they are few and far between - somehow manage to work things out through the give and take of politics.  Two examples of such countries are Costa Rica and Switzerland.  

So with blood running through the streets of Cairo, what lessons should we learn?  That maybe popular self interest requires the utopian --- the military must be abolished.  For the good of freedom and democracy, the institutions which enforce compulsion by bullets and surveillance and then arrest must be abolished.  This must be done abroad and at home.

Of course there are complexities to such a solution.  The world is full of countries with armies and ambitions who are only too happy to prey on the defenseless.  Also, unstable countries without an army tend quickly to become unstable countries with death squads.  Other problems will quickly occur to the reader.  

But these are problems to be overcome, not to justify the perpetuation of the single institution that has most oppressed mankind since the invention of civilization. 

Its time to put an end to armies.  The question is, how?

June 17 - Watergate Day

I just want to wish you all a Happy Watergate Day. I was just informed that this is a holiday that we as Americans are celebrating today.

Ah, the special memories that flood back today.  Like questions to Mommy and Daddy:  "What's a Watergate?"  Or finding out about a new universe of vocabulary, like "expletive deleted" and the even more horrendous, "expletive deleted."  Or listening to one of the two great Presidential lines in history: "Your President is not a crook", uttered by our former crook-in-chief, Richard M. Nixon.  It goes without saying that Slick Willie, our former hound-dog in chief, gets credit for the other impeachable line:  "I did not have (you know what) with that woman, (you know who)."

Of course I think this would be the perfect day to create another holiday as well... anybody up for "National FISA Court Appreciation Day?"  This would be a holiday that is especially dear to the Bush and Obama households, not to mention the many lawyers they employed to provide legal cover for the indefensible.  In the interest of efficiency we could combine Watergate Day and FISA Court Appreciation Day into one holiday, "Imperial Presidents Day."  This is a holiday that should stand the test of time due to all the spying and over-reach of the last decade under both Bush and Obama.  We had hope that the need for a holiday such as this would be obsolete after the election of 2008.  But if Obama and the professional left can't renounce the trappings and extraordinary, extra-legal powers that they have retained and bolstered during their presidency, who can?  Alas I don't think we will be electing Bernie Sanders or Rand Paul for president any time soon.

How could we celebrate this day?  We could all put up FISA trees, decorate them with colorful dragonfly and birdie drones (both lethal and surveillance varieties) and turn the volume down on FOX News and MS-NBC so that the NSA can hear our conversations more easily.  We could send our friends and relatives (but only those we don't like) personal emails full of words from the NSA "key words" list.  We should just be sure to include a special holiday greeting to that hard working NSA analyst who will review each and every one of our future emails, as well as those of the people we write, forever.  FYI, the analysts get bored with all the reading, so the tradition should include some spicy pics.  If you don't have any don't worry, the NSA can pull them from your old twitter accounts.  You thought you could leave that old "Carlos Danger" account behind, didn't you?

I can't wait to find my "always on" Xbox under the FISA tree.  I feel safer knowing that every Google search for "pressure cooker", "backpack", or even "fertilizer" and "Ryder Trucks" will be reviewed by the watchful eyes of the still quite Orwellian sounding government organ, Homeland Security.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, Santa Bush, Cheney and Obama.

If only Nixon had a FISA court, Watergate Day would be all about celebrating a big component in dams that makes hydroelectric power possible instead of commemorating a big fail in covert plumbing.

Happy Holiday, New and Proposed!



 

Why Does Obama Rush to Throw IRS Under the Bus

I will be honest in saying that I don't follow the scandals of Washington too much anymore.  The Right has cried wolf for a generation, and at this point it's getting hard to listen.  But I am pretty disappointed with the President for his hasty rush to judgement about the supposed political abuse by the IRS of various Tea Party and right wing groups.

Our President has once again embraced the expedient in stead of the good.  He has, in effect, fired the interim head of the IRS, tarnishing that unconfirmed director's reputation without benefit of hearings or an attempt to understand what was behind the IRS's controversial actions.

The GOP noise machine is representing this "scandal" as something right out of the Nixon administration. How hypocritical coming from a party that gave us the Nixonian and Cheney/Bush administrations that never knew the meaning of truth.  The voices bleating farthest on the right say that the IRS was acting politically to promote the advantage of the American Chavez who sought to silence his political enemies and undermine the constitution because he hates America.  All the better to wage his war to bring Socialist health care on freedom loving Americans as well as obliterate the constitutional right to keep and arm bears.  Or something like that...

But seriously, does even a moderated version of this hyper-suspicion of the Executive Branch hold water when you think about it for five minutes?  The IRS is an apolitical bureaucracy and is chock full of people who got their jobs during the Bush years  What do they have to gain by "abusing" their power and going after the right?  Further, did they apply this same attitude to 501c requests originating from other ideological viewpoints?  Most importantly, is there grounds for defense of the IRS considering the view that 501c status was being unlawfully exploited as a nefarious loophole in campaign finance and tax law, allowing unlimited and anonymous campaign funding in violation of other campaign and tax law?  There is a view that lawyers of the left and right were and are evading the spirit and letter of campaign and tax laws, subverting Democracy and gaining tax advantages in doing so.  That was a valid view then, and it still applies now... to 501c's of the left and right.  This includes Stephen Colbert's 501c that showed us exactly what abuses were available in the absence of regulating 501c's.

The old Obama we used to know and love, and elected in 2008, would have spoken out against a rush to judgement and instead suggested we get all the facts and make decisions based on evidence.  But the current Obama seems motivated purely by putting all so called scandals behind him through capitulation to Republican charges and placating the right, as if clearing his desk through surrender to his critics will buy him good will to get gun control and health care legislation through.

This is ridiculous.  No matter how much Obama tries to show he is a good guy and capable of meeting the GOP half way, it will never be good enough.  After the failure of compromise from 2008-2012 how does he not get this?  But more importantly, if he fires bureaucrats for political reasons- which is what he is doing - he is no better than the Republicans who dream nightly of imprisoning the IRS so they can do no harm to GOP donors, or scaring the IRS from fulfilling their mission of insuring that the tax code ISN'T abused for political ends - by the right or left.This might also fulfill the wishes of those running 501c's on the left.  Lets not forget that Obama's crowd has embraced the post McCain-Feingold ethics in practice as much as the Rove crowd. 

Obama's firing of the IRS leadership, and threat to subject IRS workers to jail, is cravenly playing into Republican hands.  But it also ignores the most important point:  WAS THE IRS RIGHT IN QUESTIONING WHETHER TEA PARTY GROUPS AND OTHERS (others being the liberal groups that were also affected by their inquiries） WERE WITHIN THE SPIRIT AND LETTER OF THE LAW in claiming 501c status and shielding of donors.  Were they being politically activist themselves, or were they just trying to protect tax code from political abuse?  I suspect the latter, and this suspicion that 501c's were being abused was all over the news at the time these so called abuses were occurring.  I'm sure Obama might recall expressing those objections himself.  I know his supporters like myself did.

By prejudging this scandal instead of investigating the circumstances fully (the IG report asks the questions but doesn't answer them), Obama is being unjust to some who might in fact be good people and deserve better.   As far as I'm concerned, Obama is participating in a political lynching.  Maybe because he's from Indonesia and Kenya (like the kooks on the right say) he doesn't get it that lynchings are despicable and immoral.  But he should put on the Billie Holiday record tonight and listen to what she says about strange fruit.  Be you black, white, red or blue, everyone deserves their day in court and a chance to defend themselves against their accusers.

There are two sides to most stories.  We deserve to hear both sides, and the accused deserve the right to tell it in advance of punishment.

Here's an interesting piece from the press suggesting this same view:
 http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/05/15/1209257/-Liberal-groups-received-same-IRS-letter-that-ignited-Tea-Party-nbsp-outrage#

       

Things You Shouldn't Write on the Web

Here is a little post I blogged on 2/18/05.  I am reposting it since it has disappeared from view, I suppose due to the age of the post.  Keep in mind that when this was written Bush was President, we were losing an elective war in Iraq,  and the NHL was on their first, but not last, strike.  All in all, it was not the best of times to be patriotic.  Real patriotism, in context of the times, led to subversive thoughts and words. But at least it was subversion dressed up in an attempt at humor.  Humor is about the only way to deal with dark times like those... or these!

******


At the risk of calling down the wrath of Homeland Security upon my person, or Israeli bulldozers upon the homes of my surviving family members, I've decided to become a terrorist.

Oops, that's not how you say it.

I've decided to become a trrrrrrr-rrrrr-ist (mispronounce it like you mean it, with a Texas accent).

It's hard when you become a terrorist, because there is just so much to do. First you have to download the Anarchist's Cookbook off of the web. Then you are have to come up with a good excuse for when the FBI kicks in your door and asks why you downloaded the Anarchist's Cookbook. I've got my explanation ready: "Me just want to help mien kids mit dere homework." If they can cut through the accent, that'll sick the FBI on my kid's teachers, who have it coming.

Then you have to put together a target list. These should be your enemies. Eisenhower had an enemies list and threw it in the waste basket. Nixon had an enemies list and threw it in his desk (along with his "memo to self: call plumbers"). Osama had an enemies list and threw airplanes at it. Then the President borrowed an enemies list from Rummy, and we know what he's doing with it. This is, historians will note, how terrorism evolved from the 20th to the 21st century in America. Ofcourse, you might ask, this leaves out the perpetrators of the OKC bombing. But you are so naive. After the triumph of the right in the coming race and culture war, these brave and gallant martyrs will go by their real name: "freedom fighters."

It's easy to list your enemies. The president, Osama, Wal-Mart, the NHL. But not every enemy can be a target. Can't shoot the President, for instance. Wouldn't be prudent. Also, you'd end up with Cheney officially in charge, without the current buffer of stupidity. Can't bomb Osama, cause you can't find him. Wal-Marts you can find, but they've got security cameras in the parking lot and you'll end up on America's Most Wanted. NHL? Too late....

After somehow figuring out some targets, then you have to come up with a plan. This should not be a problem for me: I am an American, and we are a can-do people. However, this is not something you should just knock off. You have to do it with style and originality. In addition to horrific casualties, you really must bowl over your target audience with something that is aesthetically audacious. And don't forget, you have to act early, so you can dominate the news cycle on FOX for the whole day.

Finally, either before or immediately after execution of your operation, you have to list your grievances in a public forum. This can be done by sending notice to a newspaper or other print outlets (but avoid letters to the editor, which are subject to editing). You can also deliver video to sympathetic media; that's what Osama and the White House does. Or you can just scrawl a manifesto on the wall in blood: Kilroy was here, Juden Nien, Helter Skelter, etc...

Ofcourse, if you really want to make it big, you need a sponsor. The bigger the sponsor, the bigger the bomb. If you get a really big sponsor, you'll get a really big bomb, which will help you when it comes to getting on FOX. State sponsors are the best. It really doesn't matter which state; they can be red or blue. But the main thing is, they have to have deep pockets because things that blow up are pretty expensive. It's also good if you pick a state sponsor who has some expertise in these matters. That way they can advise you in the best way to blow up people and things, which shortens your learning curve. Don't be afraid to ask for help: There are professionals out there with years of experience who are only too willing to share their knowledge with like minded youngsters who are just starting out.

Naturally, a sponsor is likely to want something in return. Sometimes you have to put their name on your shirt. Other times you have to wear their shoes. Sometimes they cut a deal where you wear all their apparel from head to toe. These of course are the best sponsors of all, because their uniforms lend you legitimacy and legal status. Army, Navy, Air Force, Mareeeeens, Taliban, Mujahadeen, Yes, these are the creme de la creme. And the choice of the most discriminating terrorist nowadays is Civilian Contractor, who wears a faux name on his or her shirt; a name like Smith or Doe, something which never manages to get put down on personnel manifests, and which the Abu Graib security cameras can never quite make out.

The drawback to sponsorship deals like this is that you lose some autonomy, and you have to blow up the targets that states, not you, choose. Still it can be a lot of fun, especially if you are bad enough. And after 20 years, if you don't get killed or locked up, you'll have a shirt full of medals, and maybe even retire with the pension of a senior officer - ready for a career in radio, Corporate America, or it's subsidiary the U.S. government.


****

Ugh, the time. Gotta shave, go to work. Must remember - spellcheck. Bye!

Dostoevski in 100 Words or Less

The believers are dead.
The nihilists are dead.
The revolutionaries are dead.
The greatest generation is almost dead.
The hippies are as good as dead.

What remains? What comes after
post modern, post industrial, post punk, post post?
What can you say
after everything has been said
and contradicted?

By a process of auto association
we extract Nothing from something.
We have left ideas behind
because ideas are old school.
We have left experience behind
because experience didn't work out.

What remains is the new turned old
The automat, the Turing machine,
the idea of doubting ourselves into mechanistic non-being.
Such an old idea which was only born yesterday.

What is new under the sun?
Of course, Nothing.
What was before
is what comes again and again and again.
And as soon as we forget about it
and join nihilists, revolutionaries, vets and hippies,
someone will think these same thoughts
in a different and original way.

And won't that be something!

aphorisms

I want to encourage everybody who is anybody to become somebody.
--Anon.

"Four legs good, two legs better... Baaaaaa!"
-Orwell; the sheep

The Masses are Revolting.
-Jose Ortega y Gassette

No, really, the masses are revolting!
-- Peter :)

Those who do not work, do not eat.

--Lenin / Reagan

From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.

--Marx (in theory)

From each according to his ability; to each according to his need. Gimme!

--Marx (in practice)

Pennies do not come from heaven. They have to be earned here on earth.

--Margaret Thatcher

I had to abandon the principles of the free market in order to save it.

--G.W. Bush

Behold a marine, such a man as an American government can make, or such as it can make a man with its black arts -- a mere shadow and reminiscence of humanity, a man laid out alive and standing, and already, as one may say, burried under arms with funeral accompaniments.

--Thoreau

When there was peace he was for peace, when there was war he went.

--Auden (on "the Unknown Citizen")

"I had other priorities."

-- Cheney (a well known citizen)

The truth is the one thing nobody will believe.

--Shaw

Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened.

--Churchill

Do not look to much into the void, lest the void look back into thee.

--Nietzsche

He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man.

--Samuel Johnson

Forgive, oh Lord, my little jokes on thee, and I'll forgive thy great big one on me!

--Robert Frost

Set My Cell Phone Free

Moses freed the Jews. Lincoln and MLK freed the blacks. Eisenhower freed tyrannized Europe (well the western part anyhow). Galileo and the Enlightenment freed the western mind.

So who will free my cell phone?

I want my cell phone to be free to do what I want it to do. Praise-uh, can I hear an amen? I want it to be free to harness technology, to be all it can be. But my phone is in chains. It wears the shackles of AT&T, Verizon, etc.

I ask it, what do you want to do? It wants me to be able to see my friends when I call, and it wants my friends to see me. It wants me to be able to use Skype, Google Talk or MSN Live in 3g - and not little bits, but ALL OF IT (including the voice chats with China) - But AT&T and Apple say no.

Someday it wants to be the phone of the future, capable of doing things I haven't even thought of yet. But it would settle for less, much less, because even much less would be a whole lot more!

My phone is hedged in by it's masters the big cell companies; it serves not it's users. Not only can it not be the phone of the future, it can't even be the phone of today.

I ask my phone, what do you want to be?

If my phone could be anything, anything at all, it would stop singing Swing Low Sweet Chariot, lay down the thick sack where it holds the profit it picks for massah, and it would become a Japanese phone. Oh wouldn't that be Heaven for a cell phone? Sure, someday it would be great if it projected holographs of the person I'm talking to, or a spreadsheet presentation. But it would settle for just a little videoconferencing, for cheap and fast internet, for TV and radio broadcasts, just like they have in Japan right now!

That doesn't seem so hard, I think.

So why is it so hard?

Poor phone I ask, is their anything they'll let you do.

My phone answers, "I can Maximize shareholder profit, adopt technology at the slowest possible rate that brings in the most dollars for each baby step of improvement. Oh, and I can also never, never, never, threaten existing revenue streams of the big cellular companies without offsetting or greater revenue that replaces those streams."

My cell phone is in chains. It's ring tone is the blues and I had to buy the goddam ringtone to boot. Won't somebody set my phone free?

I'd ask AT&T and Verizon to do it, but they aren't listening to me.

Stories and Lies

Stories and Lies


They say that if you would do art
you ought to learn your craft
But if you would do modern art
You must do less than that.

A poem that's made with bricks and beams
it stultifies the soul
For better castles in the air
use shit and shine and coal.

To wit you need to go to hell
just like your father said
You need to pick a worm or two
to get inside your head.

And when you're there you really should
make friends in this low place
experience has taught them well
And made them good -n- base.

A wie-gie board, a bit of bat
can give your dark words wings
a long cold life of loneliness
that is the modern-man's spring.

Upon such ground you'll then erect
a structure truthful and crooked
Unless you fall short of the mark
and write a mouthful that's stupid.

It might take time to plumb the slime
and filth that leads to truth
But all that god-damn suffering
Makes you 100 proof.

But, still, we all can't sink so low
Some of us have a life
And if the hell-defiencient's you
There's still hope for your rhyme.

You need but stand against such norms
Write something sweet and nice
The world's so full of eating crap
So give us sugar and spice.

Liberals: Finally Our Own Ann Coulter, and other offensive stuff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4FBYwz_UjA


Funny, funny funny. If it wasn't for AM radio and Sean Hanity I'd never know about this. Randi, you go girl. I'm liberal, so I'm supposed to be offended, but this IS a riot. Man, it's about time we got our own Ann Coulter!

And while we are at it, can someone please say a good word about Obama's preacher? MEGADITTOs to the old timer - When Rush can complain about someone calling him "Nigger," or when Michael SAvage can produce docs indicating HIS military service, then both can question the patriotism of someone who actually did wear the uniform of a country that called him and "his kind" nigger.

God bless America, and everyone who wants to hold America to the high standards it professes.

Good-bye Florida Democratic party

Well, this is it: 30 years of being a Democrat down the drain. As previously noted, the national Democratic party has decided to disenfranchise it's Florida voters because they had the gall to vote on the date that their moronic legislature - including all the moronic Democratic legislators (a minority in the state legislature) - selected for the primary.

Given that it is political suicide to toss so many voters in a swing state to the winds and the right, the National Dems did deign to permit Florida a "re-do" of the primary. This could have been quite important given the closeness of the primary contest so far. Florida legislators, you wanted to make the Florida Democratic vote big? Here was your chance...

Of course My Democratic party fu*ked it up. They said no to an expensive full primary (understandable) and said no to a cheaper mail in revote (incomprehensible). Why? I've yet to hear a good reason. The one attempt at an explanation from one of the party whigs was to say they got a lot of emails giving reasons not to have a revote. That's a reason?

The state party has no leaders, and the dolts in offices of leadership probably feel they have better things to do then go to the trouble of setting up a do-over election. They ran this primary once, and now they are OFF THE CLOCK.

I'm sure if anybody wanted to step up and get this revote done the Republican Governor would grudgingly have gotten out of the way and let it happen. He said as much, as long as it didn't cost the State coffers a dime.

So that's it. These people running the party in Florida are morons. The national party insists on cutting of their nose to spite their face (our face!). Given all this I have to wonder if maybe my state party really is a bunch of Republicans... Why not, maybe moles have been planted in the party by the same super-genius from the island of Patmos who invented white people. Can you say JEB!?

Whatever, anyhow, I'm saying "see-ya" Democratic party.

Our Republican governor and legislature is loving this. It's the perfect storm of stupidity they hoped for when they first set the January primary date. If the Dems can lose my vote, the vote of a yellow-dog Democrat, they are truly doomed. McCain, enjoy your victory in this state.


That's three presidential elections in a row Florida is screwing up. Yay, a hat trick!

Jesus Declares Super Sunday

Oh my children, in honor of this great American holiday, I declare this day "Thhhhuper Thunday." Enjoy your commercials.

This Patriotic Holiday is brought to you by all the usual suspects; The Beer Industry, Go-Daddy.com, Zan-tac, and of course the Department of Defense.

The Peace of Me be unto you.

DNC Tells Florida "F- You!"

For whoever is interested, here's a little exchange I had with the DNC in advance of the Florida Primary. I offer it for whatever edification and enjoyment it might provide. I'm sure plenty of Republicans will love this.

As some might know, the Florida legislature defied the almighty DNC by moving their primary too close to the Iowa Caucus and New Hampshire primary. The reason for this move was, of course, probably the self serving interests of the Floridian legislators. Or maybe it was a Machiavellian plot by the Republican majority in our legislature. Who knows? But the consequence was of course a disproportionate response worthy of the Department of Defense (re: Powell doctrine): The complete disenfranchisement of all Florida voters from selecting the Democratic candidate for President. Our primary was pronounced "anathema" by the DNC, and consigned to outer darkness and non-existence. Not one delegate from Florida will be seated at the convention... Not even hotel rooms at the convention have even been reserved for our "non-voting" delegation.

All this stands in contradiction to Hillary's empty "victory" promise to Florida voters: "Your vote counts." No blame on her. All blame is on the big whigs running the party. That's you Howard Dean!

I've done some editing to shorten my complaint, and excluded the name of the kind person who responded. Needless to say, however, it wasn't Howard Dean...

********************

CUSTOM FIELDS
-------------
Issue: Florida Primary - Election 2008

Your Question: Attn: Howard Dean, RE FLORIDA PRIMARY DELEGATES

I would just like to say as a Florida voter that you and the party better get your crap together fast regarding permitting our primary and recognizing our delegates. You are about to blow Democrat chances for winning Florida... again. I understand your desire to put Iowa, NH, etc in front of the bigger states. I even agree with this desire. However your tactics to force your desire are a different matter. You may have a legal right, but you certainly no ethical right to tell this state or any other state when it can have it's primary. Last I heard it was the people of Florida paying for the Florida primary, not Howard Dean and friends.

I personally wouldn't have chosen to move the Florida primary up. But that's what the Republican majority and Democrat minority of legislators did. So you are going to say 'fuck you' to my vote because of that?

Thank you so much. I hope you are practicing saying “President McCain.” You are going to need that skill.


********************
Response from the DNC

John,

Thank you for contacting us with your concerns. On August 25th the
DNC*s Rules and Bylaws Committee, nearly unanimously, found
Florida*s 2008 Delegate Selection Plan in Non-Compliance with the 2008
Delegate Selection Rules because of its January 29, 2008 primary date -
a date that violates the rule on timing. It should be noted that the
full DNC, including members from Florida, voted to adopt the Rules last
year after an 18-month-long transparent, thoughtful and deliberative
process.

The DNC gave the Florida Democratic Party 30 days to submit a plan that
could have complied. During that time, the DNC worked with the Florida
State Party to develop a plan that complied. In the end, despite being
presented several options, including offers of assistance, the Florida
Democratic Party chose to reaffirm the January 29, 2008 primary date.
Because of this the DNC is forced to enforce its rules.

This was not an arbitrary decision made by the DNC, but one that was
considered by the entire Rules and Bylaws Committee. We feel it is
important to enforce the rules that were voted on by the full DNC to
ensure that the nominating process is more fair, more representative and
more effective as a proving ground for our own candidates. Our ultimate
goal is to put forth the strongest presidential nominee. The Party must
enforce its calendar at this time to prevent other states from
leapfrogging ahead.

We're pleased the court ruled in our favor, recognizing the
constitutionally protected right of the Democratic National Committee to
enforce its rules and treat all state Democratic parties in a fair and
equal way. The DNC is committed to protecting the right to vote for
every American, and we look forward to continuing to work together to
ensure that Florida turns blue in 2008.

xxxxx,
Constituency Services

********************


So that's it. I'm pretty sure that in this decision the Democratic party has found a way to get a Republican elected again. Way to go!

Many thanks to Howard Dean, since I guess he's the fellow who is ultimately responsible for disenfranchising more Floridians than "Team Bush" in years 2000 and 2004 combined.

Election-Lady Land

I was walking down the campaign trail yesterday when I saw something really weird.

Just off the trail, next to a greasy old diner that looked very misplaced since it wasn't in New Hampshire, I saw a couple of wiggling little legs poking out of a dumpster.

What's that?" I asked one of the onlookers.

"Who. It's Michelle Obama."

"Huh?" I was confused.

"She's dumpster diving."

Now this was a new one one me. "'Scuse me, mam, what are you doing?"

Mrs. Obama righted herself, a concession to dignity and the growing crowd. Good thing. She wasn't wearing a pants suit like that other candidate's spouse, Mr. Clinton. "I'm looking for my voice."

My head shook in puzzlement. "In a dumpster?"

Mrs. Obama replied, "That's where Hillary found hers"

That sounded quite reasonable, so I dove in to help. I had to help. It was the Christian thing to do.

"Hey, look!" someone shouted, "The fellow is acting like a Huckabee!"

I began to dig. McDonald's bags, q-tips, tampons, pizza boxes, Campbell's soup cans, shredded bills, shredded wheat, some shredded e-mails from the office of Dick Cheney. But no voice of Michelle Obama.

Still, there were some interesting things in there. Something was stirring in the corner. Just barely peeping out from under a Wonder Bread bag, a little something was whispering. I strained to hear.

"Sqweak, sqweak, sqweak..."

Awww, it was a Dennis Kucinich.

So cute, but I kept digging. I saw a can of pork and beans struggling to move. Maybe something was trying to get out. I lifted the can.

"Free at Last?" I joked, hoping It was Martin Luther King and I'd beat him to his punchline.

"I am not a crook."

Ha! A Nixon voice.

Well you don't always find treasure, even in a dumpster. But maybe this was a lucky break. He was, after all, unlike the future first lady-man, unimpeached.

"Please, President Nixon," I asked, hoping for an answer for today. "Tell us the secret plan to end the war."

The former president's jowls shook, just like in the good old days. "You can't handle the truth."

I didn't know Nixon did impressions. He was doing Jack Nicholson, though it also sounded a lot like McCain talking to conservatives.

We kept digging. Michelle was getting deep. Deep into grits, coffee grounds, stiff dried spaghetti, Styrofoam carry-out containers, an empty catchup bottle. Somebody must have cleaned out their refrigerator. I stepped over an oatmeal carton and onto a hypodermic. Ouch! Medical waste! What kind of refrigerator got cleaned here...

I saw a rolled up newspaper. I love to read, so I reached for it. Maybe I'd look at it just for a second.

Before my hand got to it, it jumped up and hit me on the nose. Rudolph Gulliani.

We were starting to get a little smelly. "This must be how the other half lives.", Mrs. Obama said.

She had found a voice, just not hers. I told her.. "Mamm, I think you're talking like John Edwards"

I have to admit, though, it sounded good on her. Maybe that's because I'm poor, white, and worried about my job. According to the polls, that's the Edwards "demographic." Ofcourse who I'll vote for now is beyond me.

A limo pulled up and guess who got out? Why you guessed it, Barach!

"Honey," he said, "You can stop looking." He handed her a present.

Mrs. Obama undid the bow and opened the package. Inside was a pretty little voice. It was Edith Bunker."

"AAAAAAAchie, I mean, BaraAAAAACH, dinner's ready!" She rushed into the diner.

Senator Obama smiled. Goodbye assertive, bossy, wife... Hello happiness!

As he climbed back into his limo his wife came scurrying out. "Wait Baraaaach, don't forget your beeeeer."

The senator took his plate, took his beer and took a sip. The crowd started clapping; he had proved he was a regular guy. And that's all it took. He had locked up the midwest vote, just in time for super-Tuesday. And we all know, as Kansas goes, so goes the nation.

Maybe Bill Clinton won't be first lady after all. But it's not over yet. Feminists, don't give up. You can still have the audacity of hope...

Rock Star Loses - Surprise from the Comeback Kidette

Surprise, surprise, what a pleasant surprise.

You would think there would have been tears of joy. But Hillary's eyes stayed dry and her voice didn't crack as she accepted an unexpected gift from New Hampshire. Victory! For a second and more surprising time NH has made a Clinton "the comeback kid."

Of course there weren't any tears from Obama. He seemed calm even though he smiled more weakly than we've seen in of late. When he arrived with his wife to the tune of "You are so Beautiful" to give his concession speech he tried to be brave and poised. But there was more than a little 'deer in the headlights' in his manner.

The speeches of both Clinton and Obama were rather funny if you listened for it. Both speeches seemed to have been quickly cobbled from the concession and victory speeches each candidate had expected to make.

The most interesting speech of the night was - no surprise - Ron Paul. No concession speech from him. He's taking his 8% showing and carrying the libertarian/olde Republican isolationist standard. No bleating and platitudes about change and complementing the American people. He spent 30 minutes giving facts and actual arguments. He's no Jefferson, but he's head and shoulders above the rest of the Republican candidates when it comes to challenging Americans intellectually. He's not entirely correct about the Nanny state and the purpose of the constitution. But he's definitely got his head in the game.

***

Odds and ends - Candidate songs:
Hillary - American Girl - Tom Petty
Richardson - Won't back down - Petty again
Edwards - The Rising - Springsteen
Obama - (sorry, insufficient cultural literacy on my part...)
McCain - Johnny B Good - not something by Johnny Cougar Mellencamp!


Nice lines:

Obama: New American Majority... Drug and insurance companies get a seat at the table, but don't get to buy all the chairs... Let Ingenuity save our planet from a point of no return... Lets finish the job against Al Queda but never use 9-11 to scare up votes.

All candidates in this race share these goals. (but he forgot the 'All Non-Republican candidates' modifier.)

McCain: Past the age when I can claim the noun 'kid', regardless of what adjective precedes it. But tonight we sure showed everyone what a comeback is. Mac is Back.

Ron Paul: Pick a spot, any spot. Anywhere within his 35 minutes speaking you could find sparkling argument. Agree with him or not, he at least had something to say. Paul Gems ...What's so radical about these ideas? I think the radicals are in charge and we need to remove them from Washington.

...the Dollar used to be 1/20th the value of an oz of gold. Now it's 1/900th the value of an oz of gold. The price of gold isn't going up. It's value remains constant. It's the value of the dollar that has fallen. ((Does this same hold true regarding the recent increases in the price of oil?))

...We don't have a right to somebody else's productivity. ((Isn't that Marx's point???)). We don't have a right to a house, our home and a job. We have a right to our life and liberty.

...We never have to sacrifice our liberty to be secure. The freer we are the more secure we will be.

...Old people declare wars and young people fight them.

****

Bill Richardson, so normal, no quotes, not a rock star at all. But god bless him he's a nice guy.

Tampa Sports

Ugh! The world is just and orderly. As per the physical laws that govern the universe, as per the moral order that gives to each their proper portion and no more (so much for grace, you theologians)... the Tampa Bay Bucs got stomped. It sucks being a Bucs fan, but at least the creampuffs of Parity Scheduling are out of the playoffs. I must say I HATE it when sub-standard teams advance in the playoffs. So at least one is out. C'mon New England Pats, Baltimore (ooops - Indianapolis) Colts.

The Indianapolis Colts. Now there's a blog entry about the unfairness of it all. But that's for another day.

Now for the good news. Just saw last night that Tampa Bay is getting to host not one, two, but three US Nat qualifier games for the Olympics.

Soccer in Tampa again, at least for a few days?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPINESSS!!!!!!

Debates: Trvst in Charlie?

Trust in Charlie? Argh! The Great Saturday Night debate is over. We got to hear all about making change. As Kucinich would say, can anybody change a dollar?

Now it's off to the SPIN ROOM. What's Diane Sawyer doing wearing all black? How are we going to see her heaving squishy bosom through the soft lens without some color contrasts? Where's that tight fuzzy sweater from Good Morning America?

Important points made by the Republicans: 'I support President Bush. Except...'

Important points made by the Dems: 'CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE (Redskins lost).'

McCain sounded great for the Republicans. He seems like the only one of the bunch with independence and integrity, with the far-out exception of Ron Paul. Damn, Ron Paul is a nut, but he says some true things too.

John Edwards won this thing among the Democrats. Let's just see if he can pull something off in the NH primary. This guy could be the populist candidate us populists have always wanted.

Just the same, all the Dems that Facebook / ABC allowed to speak did passably well.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! 2007 is gone and good riddance to it. It was a year of war, a sinking economy, a falling dollar, another year of Bush, VT, and private failures too.

I'll be glad to focus on the macro. To paraphrase Woody Allen, "Man concerns himself with the problems of the world so he doesn't have to confront the problems of his own existence." ((wait a second... Woody Allen said THE OPPOSITE... riffing on the astute observations of some Euro-shrinks he was consulting, no doubt)).

Just the same, now that the year is done, it's good to give thanks for the good: Thanks for family and friends, for another year paying the mortgage, for paid off cars, for credit cards kept at bay, and the fact that the whole house of cards hasn't come crashing down just yet.

Other things for which we give thanks: GI's, Jesus, church, charity, books, birth-control. Some goods contradict other goods, but that's what makes life worth thinking about.

2008, I think we all can hope, just has to be better.

Something to Remember

From Lucretius...

No single thing abides; but all things flow.
Fragment to fragment clings-the things thus grow
Until we know and name them. By degrees
They melt, and are no more the things we know.

Globed from the atoms falling slow or swift
I see the suns, I see the systems lift
Their forms; and even the systems and the suns
Shall go back slowly to the eternal drift.

You too, oh earth-your empires, lands, and seas-
Least with your stars, of all the galaxies,
Globed from the drift like these, like these you too
Shalt go. You are going, hour by hour, like these.

Nothing abides. The seas in delicate haze
Go off; those mooned sands forsake their place;
And where they are, shall other seas in turn
Mow with their scythes of whiteness other bays.

The seeds that once were we take flight and fly,
Winnowed to earth, or whirled along the sky,
Not lost but disunited. Life lives on.
It is the lives, the lives, the lives, that die.

They go beyond recapture and recall,
Lost in the all-indissoluble All:-
Gone like the rainbow from the fountain's foam,
Gone like the spindrift shuddering down the squall.

Flakes of the water, on the waters cease!
Soul of the body, melt and sleep like these.
Atoms to atoms-weariness to rest -
Ashes to ashes-hopes and fears to peace!

O Science, lift aloud your voice that stills
The pulse of fear, and through the conscience thrills-
Thrills through the conscience with the news of peace-
How beautiful your feet are on the hills!

Happy Halloween

It's halloween, time to think of creepy things, scary things, and things that go bump in the night.

Creepy, like our President who lies snoozing on the sofa in the oval office, dreaming dreams of power and leadership, and wielding his 'axes' of evil.

Scary like our Vice-President. Cheney's gone a hunting.

This is a night for raising hairs on the back of your neck. What was that bump? CIA, extraordinary rendition (and I don't mean a cheesy Elton John song...)?

Halloween, it's a night of ghosts. Thanks to you Mr. President, there are a lot more ghosts out there. Thank you Mr. President on behalf of the 4,132 US and coalition dead, the +80,000 Iraqi dead, the uncounted wounded. That's payback for the um... 2,974 9/11 dead. If We lost 2000 Americans to terrorists, shouldn't 2000 TERRORISTS pay that price? And that's not counting those who are yet to die.

Of course, we can speak on behalf of those yet to die next year. The war will still be on.

A Spartan Retirement for our President

Ok, so I disappeared from blogworld for a while. Life's been interfering... and usually when life interferes that's not good. Just too busy to write or even think. But I'll try and come back with a few comments every few day, if that's at all possible. After all, GW won't be here to kick around after a year and a half (Nixonian reference intended), so there isn't much time left to rip him before he ascends to President Emeritus status.

I just hope the good old boy has some plans for when he leaves office. Is he putting together his resume? How is he going to spin those failures, failures and more failures. But at least he can brag of some spectacular failures: Money and blood relation to power can buy failure on a grander scale than that achievable by us "little people." But still, after fuckin up at the top, what's left? Habitat for Humanity? Peace Corps? No, you might bump into some Carters. That could be a guilt inducing confrontation. Yech, Christians...

But I've got a suggestion. This war will still be going on when our President gets out of office. Considering he's still a strapping specimen of fitness due to all the bike riding and many hours exercising rather than problem solving during his time in office, I think he's sufficiently fit for a small but more active role in this war of his making.

No, no more leadership positions for our Commander in Chief; he's done enough damage. And no more getting big paychecks for being a symbol - even if a towering symbol of American hubris - such as he's been since 9-11. But I think driving a truck through the Sunni Triangle, or maybe working as a traffic cop at a check point on the way to the Bagdad airport, or some other low level, banal and highly dangerous job would be appropriate. God forbid anything should happen... but if it should then he can at least console himself that that's one less young GI who will have his brains blown out, limbs severed in an IED, etc. in our President's splendid little war.

I guess our president could hope to go out in a small show of glory, even if it wouldn't make up for the greater damage of his two terms. It's not too late, despite his dodge of real Viet Nam service and his later Presidential sacrifice of others, to serve some high and noble end. And if he should go the way of heroes and poor kids who joined for the GI Bill, he can at least think these words as he fades into the flag and music: Dulce et decorum est, Pro Patria Mori.

He's a Yale man, he'll know what the words mean. Right?

****

PS. As an addendum to this modest proposal, I think it's only fair that I volunteer the following people for immediate enlistment and rapid deployment to "the surge": Everyone over 45*, everyone in the GOP, and everyone who supports the war and is older than 25. Uncle Sam, you can waive the age requirements for this war; there's plenty of jobs that an elderly warmonger or fellow traveler can do. And hey, no OCS for these guys - no standing in the back line waving the flag and telling young kids to "go get em, Tiger." Just give this select group, including myself, a grungy job taking a bullet and getting this surge and war over with, so our kids don't have to. Mr. Pres., I'm up for it if you are.

Thoughts about VT

Everyone is torn up about the VT massacre, as well they should be. People everywhere have cried over the deaths and injuries of those they'll never know, and that's as it should be too. The human race was diminished by a count of 33 through Monday's horrible occurrence. Quantitatively that's nothing on this screwed up planet. Qualitatively the loss is vastly greater, measured in the unmeasurable despair of each family member, each friend, and those who share the sorrow from a televised distance. God bless and help each family member or friend that is suffering from this right now.

But as we cry over this as we should, a few thoughts occur. I'm sorry to think these thoughts and more sorry to say them, because they aren't comforting to some of the people involved in this tragedy. I hope nobody at VT, none in a grieving family, ever reads this. But for those of us at a distance I think there are some questions we should ask because maybe some learning can come of it.

What would have happened if Cho's roommates had learned Cho's major? What if they had tossed their nonspeaking acquaintance a beer and gotten him sufficiently drunk to loosen his tongue? What if they done this over a series of days or weeks until Cho could talk and look friends in the eye without alcohol in his hand? This is a standard college therapy that has drawn out and saved the lives of who knows how many. This is not to blame the roommates, specifically. How many people did Cho avoid eye contact with? Couldn't someone have thrown this guy a life preserver? Couldn't someone have jumped into the water and fought with the struggling victim to bring him to shore?

Maybe that's the job of a psychiatrist. But that's what friends are for too.

A small person can disappear in a big school. Maybe VT wasn't the right place for a person like Cho. A small Catholic college in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by vineyards and drinking monks and the drone of the sister teaching Intro to Religion (a required course) might have been a better place. Maybe the students at such a school would have done what their counterparts at the big school didn't do. Cho, atheist though he was, needed saving in a way that maybe religions and religious education is suited to.

All the functionaries and professors in the VT bureaucracy who glanced at this "troubled student's" records, class submissions, and heard in passing his silence in class, what could they have done differently? When students in his creative writing class were alarmed and fearful about Cho's writing and asked that he be removed, was the teacher right in doing so? Maybe that was the last straw. A lot of professionals followed protocols, filled out the proper forms and fulfilled their professional responsibilities as outlined in the relevant documents. Many in authority urged him to get counseling. But who brought the counsellor to him? Why couldn't someone have stepped outside the lines and sicked a few nice people from the Christian group across campus on him? Wear him down with kindness until... a smile.

Beer or Jesus, both could have been saving. But nobody was their brother's keeper.

from Bill Moyers

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/011807B.shtml

Ben Franklin said:

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote."

Very radical subversive, anti-democratic words these... or words that recognize the defective nature of OUR democracy, as structured for the last 200 years.

What is the problem with our democracy? Human rights are in conflict with property rights, and human rights are losing. For two hundred years the power of the ownership class has grown, ever more able through control of our democracy to arrange the world for it's own bennefit. Government naturally works to fortify the conspiracies of the rich.

Garfinkle :When the richest nation in the world has to borrow to pay hundreds of millions of dollars to pay it's bills.... something is amiss."

The pillar of the conspiracy is the concentration of media in the hands of the few. Media is more attentive to establishment views than the bleak realities experienced by the many." An elite determines what ordinary people see and hear, and what they don't. This is censorship of knowledge by monopolization of the means of information. What we see from the couch is increasingly the view from the top.

White House: North Korea Needs to be Punished

Tony Snow was called up to Rummy's office this morning.

Rummy passed him the 'candy tin.' "Take one," he said. Tony selected a red one, in honor of the red states. It was, of course, a viagra.

Who lost Nicaragua, Venezuela, Brazil, Iraq?

Who lost Nicaragua, Venezuela, Brazil, Iraq? Why the enemy, of course. And who is that enemy? Us

After starting a war to find WMD's, depose a tyrant, and spread democracy, what have we got to show for it? Lots of democracies flowering in the poorer nations of the world. In Brazil, Venezuela, Chile; in Iran and (perhaps) in Iraq. But wherever democracy flourishes there is a rise in anti-americanism. Do we ask why? We could do that, but as Nixon said, it would be wrong. You might get answers you don't like. So instead we do what leaders of our democracy have often done in the past - we undermine democracy.

Too bad. If only we could pay more than lip service to democracy.

It is a disgrace that our far right leaders respect the outcome of an election only when our guy wins. If Chavez, Amadinijad, Hamas, Ortega or (to go back in history) Allende win, our rightists try and subvert the will of the people who voted these guys into office. We claim to want the spread of democracy, but we support any tyranny that is friendly to our interests, and oppose any elected head of state who pursues the interests of his own nation.

It's a cop out to spout the "one man, one vote, one time" argument when we are the ones who killed Allende, tried to kill Ortega and Chavez, undermine Hamas (instead of working with them and allowing the practical demands of governing to drive them to the center), etc.
The self-centered poicies of our rightist leaders are why the world hates us more and more. Chavez, Ortega etc. seem to respect democracy and their obligations to the democratic process and "the people" a lot more than North, Bush, and the far right have ever demonstrated in their actions.

Evolving Democracy

There was an interesting article by Bartlett on Townhall.com. The gist of it is that we've got too much democracy in this country. Our institutions have evolved into a gerymandered creature that would repell our founding fathers.

Well, whenever you talk about the evolution of anything, including evolution, all real conservatives know you are entering into a swamp of liberalism and error. And so it is, apparently, with the evolution of democratic institutions in America. As God created the world, so did'st the founding fathers create America: fully formed to perfection. A shining city on the hill which none can tarnish. At least not until the filthy rabble of squabling, self interested members of the electorate express themselves by seeking an even more perfect union.

That the "errors of 1913" can be considered erroneous at all is unbelievably laughable. Can anyone really think that if the states had MORE power that government would be less parocheal? Anbody observed the behavior of their own state legislature lately? State legislatures across the country are the primary governments of, by and for special interests. If you think differently, try to find an anti-casino legislator. You'll have to look hard. State legislatures make the US House look like... um, the Senate.

There is no doubt that a lot of our nation's deliberative bodies seem to lack the capacity for disinterested deliberation. But that is a fault of the electorate as much as the politicians we elect. Our culture is one that elevates and justifies self interest. We say that "greed is good". We argue that the sum of all self-interested action yeilds the public good. The focus of our culture is not disinterest and passionlessness, but interest.

My point being that our institutions are fine, and the trend for expanding democracy is good. What we need to address our faults is not a return to the institutions of the good old days, but a return to the values of those days. A government of by and for all the people is what we need; not a limited government of educated (and wealthy) elites ruling over the crude and filthy rabble. We need more direct democracy, not less, and we need more civic minded citizens and politicians.

Keith Olberman doesn't go far enough, just this once...

Olberman's comparison of the US to 1930's England doesn't ring nearly as true as a comparison to Nazi Germany. The lies of our government don't serve a desperate and unrealistic hope for peace. Instead, our government's lies, like Hitler's, serve to provide cover for war, brutality, and crimes against innocents. Like the Republicans, the Nazis also claimed to be good Christians weilding the sword to protect the Homeland and Civilization from its enemies. The difference between then and now is just a matter of degree. But give it time. We've already got camps. It's not so far fetched to imagine a future Cheney administration awarding contracts leasing Boxcars that takes us all to where work will set us free.

Michael Medved, and Why Judaism is Popular

Michael Medved discussed an interesting poll that found Judaism is not so unpopular in this greenie nation on the big blue marble. He then went on to speculate on why Judaism scored so well, and discovered that it's because most Americans are ignorant about Judaism, and Judaism is a big tent that can cover everyone. Kind of like the democratic party?

But it's an interesting question. Why is Judaism popular in America? Instead of reading the tea leaves from a poll, it's not so hard to come up with a more accurate answer.

Just ask people WHY they hold the opinions they do about Judaism. This might be a good thing for Michael to try on a slow news day.

I think if the 1001 people polled answered the followup "why" in any detail the answers could be very interesting and reveal some very important information about us. An international poll with the same followup "why" would also be very instructive in explaining some negative views held in the world.

Here's my answer to "why" I like Judaism (and I'm sure reflects a little ignorance on my part). I am speaking from a Catholic background:

• Religious truths are understood more clearly and deeply in Judaism. Like other religions, Judaism's source for truths is a holy text containing the word of God, but Judaism doesn't stop there. Judaism tests a given truth against cases and circumstances to get a clearer meaning of what the truth is and isn't. I think this is called midrash.

• Judaism isn't opposed to science. It calls for people to "study, study, study" both the torah and nature. And when that study of nature produces a revolution in physics, for instance, Jewish theology doesn't recoil in fear of contradictions. It deepens to embrace what science reveals. This response advances both the religion and the future prospects of science.

• Judaism is a very humane religion. King James Christianity is "mercy" centered (begging please, mighty King God, have MERCY, don't kill me even though I deserve it.'). In Judaism, mercy is translated as "Loving-kindness" - and it's how we are to treat each other.

There are other reasons that I could mention, but that's a good start.

I would add that being disposed with kindness towards Judaism shouldn't mean blind support for Israel (which is the current fundementalist Christian attitude). Israel like all nations has to be held to account by the standards and values transmitted through Israel to the world - values which even most secularists embrace. "Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal." etc. These overrule even the genocides and "wars of expansion" perpetrated by the Jews in the Old Testement days. They contradict modern policies of expansion into the West Bank, or incidental attrocities against innocent civilians perpetrated in Lebannon. The qualification might be added "except as absolutely required for security and safety of Israeli's." But that might even be excessive. Are Israeli innocents of greater value than Lebanese innocents?

AM Radio Ubber Alles

The rich and the rightists drone on in reasoned tones, tying the inarticulate liberals in knots of logic, or shouting down those with the capacity to express themselves.

You've fallen into earshot of AM radio: a non-grey area where black contrasts with white, but white always prevails in the marketplace of ideas that seasons a well educated and informed electorate.

RIIIIIIIGHT.

So normally you are at work when the right-wing wonks preach to the choir that is their aged or self employed median target audience. But today, through the wonders of radio and a day off in celebration of Independence Day, you can hear AM in all it's glory.

What is hacking off the right-wing nowdays? You are about to find out. the short answer is, everything. The long answer is, anything that might be advocated by even the most reasonable moderates. After all, we are a country at war.

The first thing that rub righties raw is a failure of patriotism. If you are ashamed of America as it is today, if you feel our country has been disgraced by the lies and hubris of the Bush administration, if you find fault with either the basis for or prosecution of "the war on terror" then you don't support our troops and you stand with Hillary, Murtha and the terrorists.

Nevermind that the war arose from a pack of lies and a Strangelovian world view articulated in 1990's Neo-Con manifestos. Nevermind that the consequence of the war has been not quick victory and the spread of Democracy, but the shed blood of our young troops in a quagmire of sand and urban warfare. Nevermind that this war bankrupts our nation - at an accelerated rate - because (god forbid) why would we roll back the tax cuts due to a little thing like an expensive war? Keep your eyes on the war, citizens. Don't pay attention to the man behind the curtain who isn't growing the economy, saving social security, or solving the health care crisis (remember that?).

This is truly the stupidest American administration that has governed in many a lifetime. In almost all the most important decisions it has acted out of selfishness and the exercise of power for it's own sake. "Might makes right" might be a cliche, but it's a cliche to live by. Saying this, however, would piss off the right.

Never mind that true patiotism arises out of a love of country based on what that country stands for. Not, as Jane Fonda said of Viet Nam - "my country right or wrong". But the righty cheers on the home team. Later maybe we can find out what the home team stands for in a special on the History Channel.

What else gets the right-thinking man's dandruff up? Godlessness, that's what. It is impossible to share ideological communion with our founding fathers without partaking at the Christian altar of public belief. Of course, this begs the question of what differentiated American government from all the divinely justified tyrannies that preceded America throughout the long ages of the past. Wasn't the truely distinct blessing of this country not it's Christianity, but it's SECULAR character? Founding fathers such as Washington, Jefferson and Franklin avoided endorsing religious belief in any of it's specifics - christian or otherwise. "Public religion" was a concession they made to the need for public order, not religious truth. As to determinations of religious truth, that was reserved for private consicience or debate in the marketplace of ideas. You need look no futher than the great Thomas Paine for a true American patriot who was in no way a Christian.

What else wanks the rightist to lengths and convulsions? Failure to support Israel. Those who would find fault with Israel risk the possibility that Gawd Almighty, the eternal friend of Israel, would find fault with them. The rapture may or may not be coming, but until then why risk it. Judgement apparently hangs heavy of any who would ask Israel to act with fairness and justice to resolve it's longstanding disputes with the Palestinians. What does such a request entail? Removal of the West Bank settlements - all of them - and establishing just borders with an independent Palestine. The shelling that occurs every day would cease if only the unilateralism of Sharon's party was abandoned. Think back - before Sharon peace nearly came to the region.

Lastly, what ticks off AM righties the most? Cindy Sheehan and Congressman John Murtha, that's who. The right hates these people because they are traitors - persons who they would expect to be patriots based on their military ties and sacrifices. These two persons have paid dues to argue their points - but AKKK, their points are all wrong! Shehan gave her only begotten son and now asks us to do right. Remind you of any religion that the right wants our nation to endorse? Regarding Murtha, who is HE to point out the shameful and degrading influence that this war is having on our country and our servicemen. An ex-Marine who served in combat in a similarly misguided war, that's who. Indeed!

Recently a soldier in Iraq was interviewed on NPR. He described how his unit identifies targets during night actions: they look for "MAMs" (Military Aged Males). Sound like profiling to you? Or does it sound like a sure fire way to commit attrocities against innocents and maybe create terrorists out of the survivors.

That said, happy 4th of July to you and yours.