9-11? Party Time at the White House

I'll update this with the official post tonight, but I cannot let another minute go by without wishing the presidency of George W. Bush a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Happy 9-11, President Bush. Happy Birthday to your presidency.

Let's not confuse this with "W's" personal birthday. When is the latter? Sorry to say, I don't know and I don't care. I'm sure Big Barb will have her negro servants bake him a big cake to celebrate the day he fell out of the lap of luxury. I'm sure there will be lots of pretty candles, and Big Barb could even invite some of the refugees from the Astrodome to come share in the festivities (what a photo op, call Rove!). That's such a wonderful thought: those negro refugees can't help but enjoy themselves. It's so different from what they are used to, living in New Orleans slums and public housing, and selling drugs, and looting and all. I'm sure she'll take the usual precautions when those of her kind associate with those of that other kind... put away the family silver and get out the Dixie Cups and plastic ware outside.

As to the special birthday of the Bush Presidency, 9-11 is the big day for that.

Up until 9-11, W was just some lame-o stumblebum elected by the Supreme Court after a lawyers' coup in Florida; a lame-o on extended vacation chopping wood and clearing Brush while his friends helped themselves at the public trough at your expense and mine. And, ok, that's still the case.

But on 9-11, with the "airlining" of the Twin Towers and Pentagon, and the loss of a fourth flight in the fields of Pennsylvania, George got his big break. No longer was he just Lame-o the President. No, now was his chance to play Commander-in-Chief.

When W climbed up on the rubble with his megaphone, in the company of hero's, he spoke the soundbite that made his presidency. What a wonderful and lucky day that was for him and his friends. Osama lit the candles, and W., Rummy, and the rest have been blowing them out ever since.

There's nothing like a war presidency to force the media and even your opponents to get into line. Or to enrich your friends.

So Happy birthday Mr. President. I hope you like your presents: Afghanistan and Iraq are yours. So are the thousands of dead and wounded American soldiers whose job it is to go where you command (note I didn't say "lead"... We can always count you to be as far from actual hostilities as possible). Enjoy your presents, Mr. President: even more thousands of dead Iraqi civilians - collateral damage from our own military, and victims of the civil war you've unleashed. Enjoy your presents, Mr. President: profits upon profits for your pals in "the private sector", profits courtesy of a vast and possibly unpayable federal debt.

Happy Birthday Mr. President. I know you've said you don't think about Osama anymore. But maybe sometime during your next vacation you could worry a little that he doesn't send another present your way.

Well, gotta go now. Draft two later.